Wednesday, August 30, 2006

This ain't your average Leave it to Beaver day!

This is the typical day for my children.

Get up, go to the bathroom. Go to babysitter's, eat breakfast.

If you're Luke, play and watch videos until Kindergarten. Go to Kindergarten. Go to Grandma Jenny's room. Go to Grandma Jenny's house. Get picked up by Mom.

If you are Drew, Evan, or with a bunch of kids on an Amish/Mennonite farm (I say both because the grandma and grandpa are Amish and the rest are Mennonite...still, no TV, but there IS electricity and plumbing!). Get picked up by Mom.

Once all have been picked up, go home, play until dinner is ready. Eat dinner, take a bath, wrestle with Dad, scream because Daddy wrestles too hard, pick a fight by giving Dad a wedgie, scream some more, read a book with Mom or Dad, depending on who is available and not completely exhausted. Go potty, brush teeth, say goodnight prayer, lay awake without even TRYING to be quiet while obviously NOT going to sleep. Get told to go to sleep and stop talking a bazillion times....possibly get a spanking...get up, potty again, talk some more, sneak a toy in to the room (we don't even keep most of them in their room anymore because of bedtime), finally sleep. Wake up. Start over.

HOWEVER ----- SOMEWHERE in the course of the last 24 hours these events have managed to squeeze their way in to our routine:

1. Drew and Evan tested for Speech Services. Both were very cooperative with the Speech/Language Pathologist they worked with. They thought it fun to visit Bubby's "stool" (school) and get a tour of the building complete with a visit to Mammaw Jenny's room...where her refrigerator was stocked and ready!

2. On the way to the babysitter's to pick Gabriel back up after Speech screening, Luke announces: "When I grow up, I want to be a vegerinarian." "Hmmm...." I think to myself. "This ought to be good..." "Luke, what IS a vegerinarian?" "I forget." "Oh." (Pause) "Is a doctor for the Veggie Tales?" Pleased with myself for my corny question, I laugh. Luke says, "Why are you laughing?" I answer, "Because you said vegerinarian. Do you mean veterinarian?" "Yeah." "What does a veterinarian do?" I ask. He answers, "I forget." Good to see he has direction.

3. At the babysitter's, since Luke has not been out on the farm for a while, he wanted to go in and help get Gabriel and some things we left there in our hurry to get Drew and Evan to their evaluation. He goes in, says hello....etc. On our way out, we walk past the shop that the babysitter's husband works from. Luke is following me. As I walk by, the man jumps out at Luke, and Luke screams then laughs. He looks at me and says, "That gave me the hibbity gibbities!" I was cracking up! He said, "What?!?! He scared me to deaf!"

4. We got home and within about 2 minutes, Chad pulled up. We all were relaxing before going to Luke's Kindergarten open house. We get ready to go, we should be WALKING OUT THE DOOR when Drew, who had fallen asleep - obviously exhausted from the lack of a nap because of the full day - walks in to the bathroom where I have already decided to go. He's half asleep and has to pee, and he can't get in because I am already there. I hear him saying, "I have to pee....Tan't (can't) wait...." and start crying. Next thing I hear is Evan screaming, "EWWWW! Drew's peeing on the wall!!" I hurry out, and walk around the corner where Drew is standing with his body pressed up against the wall. I look at his feet. I don't SEE anything that appears wet. I said, "Drew, you can go in to the bathroom now. I'm done." He won't unpeel himself from the wall. I realize he is half asleep and I said, "Drew, Honey, come on," as I am pulling him as nicely as I can do it in this urgent situation. As I am pulling away, (remember we're supposed to be WALKING OUT THE DOOR) I see why he won't pull himself away from the wall. He begins to really cry now because pressing himself against the wall was the only way to stop himself from peeing....instant fountain. At the EXACT same time the fountain is erupting, Luke was trying to wake up Chad because HE had fallen asleep. Apparently he tried waking him up a few times without success and tried something didn't go over well. I heard two swats to Luke's behind. Now Luke is crying and running away from Chad, Drew is peeing on the wall and wet, Evan is grossed out and talking a mile a minute about who's in trouble and who is doing what, Gabriel is standing between the running Luke and the peeing Drew and the frustrated me. AMAZINGLY, I threw clothes on Drew and we WEREN'T late for the open house.

A day in the life at the Monize house.......never a dull moment.


audrey said...

HAHA UM...daaaang i wish you couldve seen me over here ROLLIN after reading THAT post...laughing out loud looking amazingly weird... that was hilarious. I love your stories!!!

Todd & Micah said...

Sounds like the great memories I made the day they all had the flu and were puking up hotdogs all over the place. Hotdogs were definately a bad choice to feed them for lunch.

worshipful1 said...

I don't deal well with puke...and today marks the third day in a row that they woke up and the three oldest had peed the bed. On top of laundry for 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheGaffords said...

I don't know how you do it, Michelle! Thanks for the laughs!

gracesown said...

...and mothers all over the world long for these days back after their children are grown! Just think of all of the wonderful stories you'll have to tell their future wives and children. And the stories will probably come right after they tell you about the hilarious things their children just did. (They'll be hilarious then...promise!)

Dan said...

I LIVE for these kinds of posts, Michelle. You are quite possibly the greatest story teller in the world - I laughed so hard!

Holly said...

I totally agree with Dan! That was sidesplitting. So glad to know our house isn't the only one chaos reigns! AAGH!!