Friday, August 11, 2006

A few odds and ends

Odds and Ends #1:

I just had the thought that a week from right now I will be laying in bed as I do every year since I could remember realizing that the next day will be the first day back to school. From the time I was in elementary, to college, and even now on the "other side of the desk.." or piano, in my case, I have always found it EXTREMELY difficult to sleep the night before the first day back. I find myself thinking of all the years past and where I have come from...what lies ahead....all the while staring down the clock with those thoughts....they come every single year.

"I have to get some sleep. In 5 hours I will have to be up.........Seriously, clear your mind. You're gonna be dead in the morning and now you have to get 4 boys ready......In 2 and a half hours I will want to kill myself......CLEAR YOUR MIND!......Black space black space black space....nothing....nothing................5th grade choir this year???.....NOTHING!!! I MEAN IT! NOTHING!!!!!"

I don't know. Maybe that doesn't happen to you...but it will to me. Always does.

O & E #2:

Tonight, I went in to Kokomo to Papa John's for my husband and his blues band. They were rehearsing, and several had not eaten yet, so being the EXTREMELY wonderful person that I was, I was going to pick up the older 3 boys from a church in town who is having VBS, so I said I'd make the run for them. When we didn't turn on the familiar roads, Drew (oldest twin) asked where we were going. I answered that we were going to Papa John's to get pizza. Immediately there was a resounding "YAY!" from the backseats and then a weaker but still excited "Yay" from Gabriel who is determined to be exactly like and do everything his older siblings say and do. Then Drew pipes up with, "Mommy, won't that take a while? I'm hundry now!" I thought about my answer first, trying to figure out why he asked that question. He's been to Kokomo a hundred times...he knows how long it takes....then the light bulb went on. My mom's husband's name is Jon. When I said "Papa John's," he mistook it for "Pappaw Jon." My mom and Jon live in Montana!!! :) So I explained it and laughed all the way to Kokomo! Ah...that Drew! What a keeper!

O & E #3:

The bathroom should be finished this weekend, I hope. That means, I will HOPEFULLY be able to move out of my dad's and back to normal. Our poor dog has been alone for so long. We go over a few times a day to tend to him, but he is SO starved for attention. I know Dad and Jenny will be glad to see us go, and I don't blame them! Let's all pray that things go well and there are no set backs.

O & E #4:

Gabriel doesn't have a crib at Dad's. He doesn't do so well in the room with the other boys without being confined to the bars of a crib, so we have been letting him sleep in the living room. Yesterday morning, when Chad left for work, he returned to our bedroom with a sleeping Gabriel. Sometime during the night, he had wandered in to the kitchen, found one of Chad's baseball cleats, and cuddled up with it like his stuffed dog he loves so much. Too cute! I wish I had a picture of it!

O & E #5:

I should say, to those of you who have been reading this past month or more...
I am not out of the woods. I realize that God is still at work. Although I feel much better about the way things are coming together, I still have some pretty dark moments. (Don't worry...I'm not headed for the nearest bridge or anything...)

I have realized that sometimes my own thoughts are my worst enemies. Satan is an opportunist. He's just waiting for a chance to get a foothold....a chance to confuse me....a chance to hurt me.... He is waiting for me to allow him to affect my thoughts. Isaiah 26:3 is my new favorite verse. It promises me -not just peace, but - PERFECT peace if my mind is steadfast (focused on God) and if I trust Him. I have repeated the verse over and over to myself in the past 3 weeks or so. I have been given a new hope because of these words.

I know God is directing my path. He is my life line. He has refocused me. He has renewed me in many ways.

That doesn't mean every day is exactly what I want and hope for, so I could still use the prayers...but it does mean that my outlook has lifted considerably! Thank you to those who have helped me by praying for me! Please continue!


Dan & Angie said...

Lots of love Michelle ... think of and pray for you often!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.