Monday, October 29, 2007

Complete Randomness

1. Is "randomness" a word?
2. I was told to shut up and was spit at by an 8 year old at school today. He's lucky to remain attached to the rest of his body.
3. Last Thursday, I decided since the weather was fairly decent that I would take the boys (who had been asking about the whole thing) to my dad's grave site. Despite a rocky beginning, the kids probably had more fun than anything else asking who was burried here and there. It was actually pretty good. I had dreaded the day. Luke, of course, was much more aware of WHY we were there, but he did very well.
4. Later that night, we had to watch Casey the bunny die. Ok, God, horrible timing. It's like Luke was okay at the cemetery, but when that bunny was dying, he was almost hysterical. I ached for him. He and the twins helped Chad bury her. We don't know what happened. But we watched the painful death. She was quiet but in much pain.
5. So, meet OREO:
Luke is in better spirits now about it, but last night had a relapse of crying hysterically for the first bunny and even had a bad dream that Oreo died. I chalk it up to being normal for his grieving process. Seriously, God. Bad timing....
6. This is a picture I took at Dad's the last Sunday we spent there...Drew and Luke were chilling. Dad was sitting on the couch to my right, or rather on the floor propped up against the couch with a vibrating massager thing on his lower back trying to gain relief.
7. A definite highlight to his birthday party: he got a Jeep (it was given to us by some pretty awesome people, we just bought the batteries). THANKS T & T!

Gabriel and Ava opening presents. Ava is practically a neice.


Also a highlight, Mom and Jon sent him this big play tent. It can either be a school bus or fire truck. He enjoys it. He's the king in there!


Some new clothes Gabriel got.

8. The story of my "Pretty Awesome Son Shirt." Since Dad's illness was so close to Luke's and the twins' birthdays, Mom got to be home during that time frame, and she was able to take them shopping for their birthdays. This is pretty rare since she lives in Montana. When shopping, Luke told my mom that I was pretty said and he thought they should get me something to cheer me up. As if that wasn't sweet enough, when Mom explained that if she got me a shirt, he would have one less present because she had a certain amount of money to spend, Luke picked out not one, but two shirts for me. So now, every time I wear either shirt, if someone compliments either of them, I am sure to tell them it's my "Pretty Awesome Son Shirt." I share it with you today, because I wore the maroon one today, so I got to tell the story 4 times. You make 5.
9. Drew is having a little bit of trouble with his mouth lately. I wouldn't say any of my kids are rude, but Drew and Evan seem to be testing to see what they can say and can't. More often Drew doesn't get the hint as quickly as Evan. I don't want you to think they are brats because I don't think they are....maybe I'm biased, but we get a lot of compliments on our kids, so I hope people are not lying. Anyway, Drew got in trouble tonight, and it's one of those things that made me chuckle AFTER the fact, and had he not done this on the same day as my random thought #1, his punishment may have been quicker. He got in trouble at the babysitter's today, and they do spank occasionally. Today he did something...now I don't even remember what...and he got a spanking. In the middle of the spanking he looked at the lady and said "You hitted me enough times already!" So he got in more trouble. I'm not sure at this point what they did for punishment or if they just saved it for me. Either way, he was not allowed in the toy room or in front of the TV at all tonight. He went to bed early (even though it was only 15 minutes), and he had to do chore after chore after chore once he got home. Hopefully he will think twice before spouting off to them tomorrow.
10. On the other hand, you won't find more loving and serving kids than Luke, Drew, Evan, and Gabriel. I mean, the shirt story is enough to put Luke's tender heart right up there with the best of them. Drew and Evan are constantly looking for ways to serve others, a "chore" on their charts that they want to do well in. Evan swept Luke and Gabriel's room tonight, for example. Gabriel will bring you endless "totes" from the refrigerator, regardless of the fact that you just opened the can he just brought you 2 minutes ago. I couldn't ask for better kids. If they didn't test the waters some, I'd wonder about them. Plus I wouldn't feel as fortunate when I see the 8 year old who looked at me with such hate in his eyes today.
11. Normally I'd give you the whole rundown about the events (however insignificant they were) leading up to today's meltdown in class for that little boy...but somehow tonight, even though they sometimes exasperate me or push my buttons...somehow, it doesn't seem like a story I want to tell. It is obvious he doesn't have the kind of home my kids do - however chaotic it may feel sometimes. Lately I've been pretty consumed with the Poor-Me-Spirit (an equally evil form of PMS). I'd apologize for it, but I think it's supposed to be normal for this stage in the game. But tonight? Tonight, I feel blessed. Yeah, Dad was taken from me and my family a little early by our standards, and yeah, it still hurts. It may always hurt - despite the promise by people who have gone through similar situations that it "gets better." But I did have 31 years with a man who loved me just as much as I love my kids. It's weird to think that I pushed his buttons. I did things that in light of his day at work were dealt with differently. I wanted to serve him and love him by bringing him a diet coke. No matter how crazy it got, he came in and tucked me in, said a prayer, and gave me a kiss each night. Yeah, he thought about me growing up and not knowing his mother. Maybe he even took me to her grave site and let me walk through asking questions. He held my sobbing body close to him when my black bunny died in the garage, when my golden cat was smashed on the highway. He looked at me and smiled his half-smile at the supper table while I ate "Bert and Ernie Noses" (peas and limas). You're right, everybody. He does live on inside of me. That's pretty great.
12. I have been blessed.

1 comment:

AUDREY said...

i love when you post pictures!!! i cant get over how big they are. especially gabriel. he's growing up way too fast. i miss you guys :)

ps. you're beautiful.