HARD FOR ME...
1. To imagine life without my Dad's laughter
2. To hear the song "It Is Well" or "Faith is the Victory"
3. To stop seeing the image of a funeral
4. To stop praying for a miracle
5. To be unselfish
6. To think of a day when I can't ask him for advice
7. To envision my children growing up without their favorite pappaw.
8. To not wonder what this all will do to further the Kingdom
9. To hear Joyful Noise sing without him
10. For this to be real in my mind
11. To not feel guilty that I forgot about it for one second
12. To not feel guilty that I want everyone to be sad
13. To not feel guilty that I'm thinking of myself when Jenny's husband is dying and my father is fighting for his life
14. To ignore the fact that unsaved men are being touched by my dad's endless witness
15. To see the big picture
16. To feel happy
17. To feel like I'm not going to be naseated for the rest of my life
18. To see people with their fathers or children with their grandfathers
19. To hear the word "death" or "die"
20. To be honest with myself sometimes
EASY FOR ME...
1. To love my dad
2. To laugh in a hospital room with family I haven't seen in a while
3. To hold my niece and kiss her cheeks
4. To allow doubt and anger to creep in...
5. To ask why
6. To feel closer to my husband than ever
7. Journalling...getting it all out
8. To listen to stories told about my dad...from stories that happened yesterday to stories of his childhood
9. To grow closer to my uncle
10. To see Jesus in my Dad's eyes - even when they are distant
11. To lose my composure
12. To wonder why it isn't someone else...after all, hasn't my family suffered enough in the past 7 years?
13. To have a short fuse
14. To cry
15. To feel lost and alone
16. To love my Jesus
17. To feel the prayers being lifted up on our behalf
18. To assure others it will be okay, even when in the quiet times I wonder how I'll get through this
19. To look on my father with love...even when he is so distant
20. To look to my Father for love...especially because He is so near
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Hard and Easy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Michelle - I know I left a comment on the Care Page but I just want YOU to know how much I'm praying for you specifically. I can absolutely see God keeping you upheld. Because my parents had me so late in life, a lot of the things on your first list have been worries of mine through life. I've had my days of wondering if they'd be around to meet my husband or my kids - worrying about how to take care of them when they're sick. To actually face it for real, though, is beyond what I can comprehend.
I've been praying for your Dad, yes, but for you and Todd too, because my heart is breaking for you. Your own faith shines more than you can see. I usually come away from your posts crying - partly from questions and "it's not fair" but just also from being really touched by your words. (Chad's too, on the care pages. He had me completely bawling at work last week.)
I'll keep praying!
Michelle-my heart absolutely breaks for you and your family. I can't imagine what you're going through but it's obvious that God has blessed you with an amazing father and papaw. Your faith absolutely amazes me and I can only pray that I raise my kids loving the Lord as you have with your 4 boys. I know it's been years since I've been able to sit down and talk with you but I have such a different type of respect for you as a sister in Christ. You are an amazing Godly woman and you and your family will be rewarded for your constant faith. Every time I read your blog, I'm either crying or have honestly been touched by your words. There's no way someone can read what you've been doing and not get on their knees afterwards and pray. TJ & I have been praying for you guys every single night even though we don't know your family and will continue to do so. I wish there was something I could do for you, but until I figure out what, I will continue to pray like mad :)
Post a Comment