The Royal Flush

I was just watching the Tyra Banks Show. I never have watched before, and it was on when I was flipping channels...so...

I just learned that when you flush your toilet, if they did a slow motion time lapse video of it, you would see what the doctor on the show called "The Fourth of July" because of the spray from the toilet. So that means that every time you use the restroom and flush, you are literally spraying the contents of the toilet throughout the bathroom. Spraying the contents on to the surrounding things in your bathroom such as makeup brushes, toothbrushes, kleenexes, towells, etc. Ew.

I'm disgusted.

I guess the moral is that you should always close the lid before flushing.

Camping Grade

I wouldn't say it is the best vacation in the world for me. But it beats other things...I guess. I didn't have to fish. That's a plus....

So the rest of my weekend after I got back the first time from my first night camping had its ups and downs for sure. On Saturday, after Gabriel and I went in to town and did some browsing at Best Buy, I came back home and played with Gabriel by himself. I had a really good time with him. I forget how it was just to have Luke alone and all the stuff I could do with him (even though by the time he was Gabriel's age I was already PRETTY pregnant with Drew and Evan and starting to get pretty miserable....) but I LOVED spending the day and evening with him. After letting him play alone in the bathtub which is a rare treat for him with so many older brothers and getting him off to bed, I looked at the two movies that I got the other night from NetFlix. Apparently, I was the only person on the planet that didn't realize what Brokeback Mountain was about because...um...well do NOT watch it. I'll have one image in particular burned in to my retinas for a while....Believe me when I say that God and I have done a great deal of talking about this one. Mostly I have been pleading for forgiveness because it was even in my house. Ewwwww. After that fiasco, I decided to look over Sunday's worship folder in the living room because it was much cooler in there than in my room. I took my stuff out and sat down on the couch. When I felt my eyes drooping, I decided to set my cell phone as an alarm so I'd be sure to get up on time for church. I sat the cell phone up on the back edge of the couch. It was no surprise to me that I fell asleep on the couch while preparing for yesterday's worship service. In the middle of the night, I got up because I had to go to the restroom. When I went back to lay down, I went to my room. No alarm set there, so Sunday morning, I roll over and look at the clock and it said 9:22!!!! (Church starts for me at 9:15.) NOT GOOD!

I literally put clothes on, grabbed Gabriel and dressed him as I walked out the door in the first shirt and shorts I could find for him, and drove to church. I didn't brush my teeth or hair. I didn't do ANYTHING. I walked in to find the worship team already started and finished with the first verse of Our Love Is Loud. Handed Gabriel off to the nearest person (thanks, Kendall) and walked up on the stage in the middle of the song. Now, I SOUNDED terrrrrrrific! So after the set was over, I left Gabriel at the nursery and ran home to get a much needed shower. I walked back in to the church during the inviation. CRAP! I missed my cue again! So I walked up and hid behind the screen until prayer when I slipped in and sang the closing song....in a new outfit. The congregation just kept giving me these smiles like, "We know what has happened to you today..." Oh well. I'm really thankful that Kendall understood and so did other people. The night without sleep at the camp really did me over.

So after church it was off to Cracker Barrell with Dad and Jen and Gabriel. Then home to pack a few quick things and back to camp. I got there, and the kids were brown as berries but Chad was slightly pink. The moms there soon took the kids to a "beach" (more like a gravel pit with some ice cold water) while the dads stayed back and shot the breeze or pulled each other's fingers or something like that. Guys are gross.

Everything was fine and dandy until we were sitting around the fire last night with the kids completely zonked out in their respective tents. That's when I heard it. A laughing so hysterical from the woods - it was creeping me out. Everyone pretty much ignored it, so I thought maybe I was hearing things. I was half asleep, after all. Then there it was again. Finally, I couldn't take their nonchalance and I said, "Doesn't anyone hear that???" Dennis, a guy there, said, "Oh that? It's just a raccoon."

"WHAT?!?!" It had completely escaped my mind that I might encounter wildlife. I was so focused on the fact that it would be hot and dirty that I forgot about the creepy crawlies and such.

For some reason, one of the wives had bought these spotlight-like devices instead of flashlights. So her husband, Zach started shining them up in to the trees to see if we could see their beedy little eyes. I was instantly spooked. I kept shining the lights....listening....the laugh kept coming....I finally calmed down after much ridicule from the other more experienced campers....and could barely keep my eyes open, so I retired to my tent. Now if any of you heard my story regarding the toilet about a week ago, you know never to mix bleach and toilet cleaner..It burned so bad,....and I have a little trouble with coughing right now until all the meds fix me up...) So after a bout of coughing my scarred lungs up, I finally started to doze when two raccoons started fighting over food about 8 feet from my head. (Okay, the tent was separating me from it...but STILL!)

Other than the raccoons, the HEAT, and the next door neighbor who apparently stole something from a guy down the road who came with language ablaze with an explitive around each possible word in his sentences (followed by about 4 "Sorry, kids...bleepity bleepity bliggity bleeps") ----- I didn't have a horrible time. Showering is a plus though, so next time we go, I need to make sure we have that capability. I think I can catch up on the sleep this week while I'm NOT teaching school...so I can handle that.

All in all: Camping gets a B from this teacher.

I LOVE A/C

At the risk of being negative, let me just say that my first experience camping was horrific.

It was definitely short lived. I don't want to be Connie Complainer, but instead, I'll try just to stick with being Ingrid Informer. Um. I joined my husband and the boys last night at a camp site. Now, I wasn't planning on staying overnight, but once darkness fell, I knew there was noooooo way on this earth that I would find my way back to Greentown...So I opted to stay over. I settled down early (like 1 AM) on the air mattress and instantly just felt sticky. I slept for about 20 minutes until one of the people who was there decided to wake me up with some odd blurbs. I can't remember what they said, who said it, or how loud it was. I just know it was enough to begin the process. I was awake (literally) all night long. I think I got 20 minutes of sleep and just when I THINK I was dozing off, the girl from the next tent came to wake me up. Now, granted, I DID ask to be woken up by 8 so I could make it home and shower and get to the church by 10. HOWEVER, I really thought they would wake me up around 7:30. NOT 4:30!!! SO...I went to the bathroom and decided why should I wait around for people to wake up just to leave? So, I took Gabriel and I got my self on out of there. I barely made it home I was so sleepy and cold and wet. When I got home, Gabriel (who had ended up in the air mattress/sleeping bag combo with me to NOT sleep all night either) and I went straight to my bed and he slept until 9:15. I was so afraid of oversleeping dispite my alarm being set that I stayed awake...dozing in and out until 9:15 ish when I showered and headed to the church. You can imagine how lovely I looked and how angelic my voice was after soooo much sleep! :)

Anyway, I am supposed to go back up tomorrow after church and sleepover until Monday. I SINCERELY dread it. I love my husband, I love my kids, but I love my air conditioned, plummed, furniturized, refrigerated house a lot too. :) No really, I'll go. But pray that I get more sleep. We have a humongous tent. (It's literally bigger than our living room and music room combined....) That's not the problem. Just pray I can sleep. And if not, I guess I can look on the bright side and realize that at least I don't have to go to school next week! I can catch up on the rest I missed. All because I am trying to do things Chad wants. How is THAT for submission? :)


And by the way...boo to Dan and Angie for giving out the new numbers, taunting us with them...just to have us give in to the temptation and call only to get BOTH your voice mails! :) HA! Have a good weekend!

Raising Boys Part Deux

I have received several additions to my previous posts. Some of which made me cough and sputter and laugh tears. So here they are. Enjoy.

29.) Moles and aquariums don't mix.
30.) Trampolines and pools don't go well together either even if preteens think so.
31.) Rocks do not normally make it over a house when thrown. Usually they end up going through your living room window or plugging up the gutters.
32.) The control for your electric train set will make your hands go numb, if you touch your fingers to the leads.
33.) Toilet paper does melt and plug up a sink drain when water is added.
34.) Putting plastic lawn chairs in the pool to sit on makes holes in the liner.
35.) Shark hunting with a metal rod in the swimming pool also makes holes in the liner. (You don't catch many sharks either. )
36.) Eating 15-20 White Castle hamburgers in rapid succession makes you vomit.
37.) Putting a napkin that is on fire into a full trash can makes mom and dad very angry.
38.) Calling 911 and hanging up while your mom is in the shower can cause family strife. (Response time 2 minutes)
39.) Almost any toy can be used to disassemble any household item.
40.) Feminine pads can be worn around the neck. (It is really special if you have company.)
41.) A small boy can ingest deodorant, Comet cleanser, toilet water, various plants, mineral spirits, and even a dead baby toad (he didn't swallow), and suffer no ill effects whatsoever!

Trying to process

Um. yeah. I'm fried. In the past two hours I have been completely blown away that more Americans could vote for icky Taylor than George W. Every year I am disappointed with the outcome, yet I continue to watch. Idol Shmidol.

And then there is Lost. My head is reeling from that one. Too many new things! Can't.....keep...........up. Stinking Michael...I mean, I would have probably done (or attempted to do) the same thing for one of my kids, but how can you give up Jack!? And Kate?!?! Go ahead. Give 'em Sawyer, but not Jack and Kate. Hurley? I'm not that attached. And what's up with the guys at the end??? My brain hurts.

At least school is out for the kids tomorrow and that will free up some much needed brain cells. HALLELUJAH!

Raising Boys

a) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.
b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
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Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. Ft. House 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The EMTs in Greentown, IN have a 9-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid
26.) Mashed potatoes do not come off of walls easily.
27.) Mashed potatoes do not come off of dogs easily....at least the parts they can't lick off themselves.
28.) When a five year old tells his father this will probably make his mommy mad, he's probably correct.

Feel free to add your own in the comments!