Goodbye, Eko

My heart was saddened at the passing of my favorite character last night. I hope he comes back in some ghost form of some sort as the writers of Lost have done in the past.... He was by far the most intriguing character for me. I loved the battle against flesh and spirit that he endured because it is so real...He didn't make the right decisions all the time...who among us does? He had a dirty past. Who doesn't? I actually cried.

I will miss you, Eko.

Halloweeners! :)

The Monize's went trick or treatin'~ and we had fun, although Daddy was a little scary.....

So, here we are....Luke was a tiger.

And this was Chad....

My busy little bee, Gabriel...cute as a button.

The buzzer (he had a stinger in back) getting ready to get in the van.

Drew was Buzz Lightyear. He kept saying "To infinfinfy and beyond!"

More of Lukester (before whiskers)

Gabriel...I just couldn't stop snapping the pictures. He was SOOOOO adorable. He would get out of the van each time and say, "a buttet" (bucket)... "a buttet." I'd give him the zebra basket for his candy, and he would thank me. "Dane du." Then after the goodies were acquired, he would get back in the van, climb in to his seat, and hand it back, "Here, Mommy." Love it! LOVE HIM!

A little better shot of Buzz Lightyear. When we were in the van en route to one of the stops in Kokomo (family), Chad was saying something to me. I probably said a sassy comment or something, you know me....and then he said I should stop because (in his best transylvanian accent), "I vill eat you." Drew (copying the accent) said, "Yeah, mommy, he vill eat you you vith hot sauce." It was the BEST!!! Drew is hilarious! (And if you knew Chad, you know hot sauce tops EVERYTHING....mashed potatoes, chili, sandwiches, vegetables....everything...)

This is a good glimpse of Evan in costume. "Towabunda, Dude" he kept saying...
The whole gang.

We have SOOOOO much candy! Think about how much you get with your two or however you have, and multiply it by 4 kids. It will be Mother's Day before it's gone...well, maybe.... :)

Happy Halloween!

I have decided it's my decision

Like many other things, I have been recently reminded of something I already knew. It's my decision, my choice whether or not to have joy. God's joy, after all, is freely offered. It's one of those things where you can be a "Glass-is-half-empty..." or "half-full" - kind of gal (or guy).

Here are some of His thoughts on the subject:

ISAIAH 12: 4 - 6 "...Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you."

ISAIAH 52: 7 - 10 "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, 'Your God reigns!' Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices, together they shout for joy. When the Lord returns to Zion, they will see it with their own eyes. Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the Lord has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord will lay bare his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth will see the salvation of our God."

JAMES 1: 2 - 4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "

I PETER 4: 12 - 13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

NEHEMIAH 8:10 "...Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

PSALM 5:11 - 12 "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous, you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

PSALM 16: 9 - 11 "Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

PSALM 30: 5 "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

PSALM 98:4 "Shout for joy to the Lord all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music"

PSALM 126:5 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."

...and there are so many more references....just look it up.

But all of this has led me to believe that it's my job to ask for it (James 1), wait for it (Psalm 30:5), proclaim it (Psalm 98:4), and that it may not always come without trials preceeding it (Psalm 126:5).

My biggest threat to my joy? Is lonliness. My readers probably think (all 3 of you - haha), "How can a person with two jobs, a husband, and 4 kids ever feel lonely...especially when you consider the house in which she lives?" Well, it may not be clear to you, but that is probably the biggest obstacle I face for joy. I battle it almost every day. I'm reminded of the story of Elijah when he had fled for his life for fear of Jezebel. He was exhausted, he was alone, he was afraid. He even said to the angel of the Lord (my paraphrase), "I've been gung-ho for God. I've done a lot for Him and His Name. People have rejected God's word. They have destroyed the work I've done. They have killed others like me. I'm the only one left. Now they want to kill me, too." (At this point, I'm humbled thinking I have never been hunted down or run for my life and been that lonely...) The Lord's answer? Go back. Get a few others, anoint them with oil, prepare them for this work. There are 7000 there for you! 7000 who believe just like you. You're not alone.

And as a person so heavily involved in music, the book of Psalms is especially amazing to me. Psalm 41 says "...Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. But you, O Lord, have mercy on me; you raise me up...In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever." I'm never alone. I'm always with Him.

But sometimes, it doesn't feel that way. Someone once told me that Satan can't read our thoughts but can influence them. He exploits our fears.

Jesus himself felt loneliness when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. All He had asked was that His closest friends sit up and pray for Him...and they couldn't keep their eyes open.

Paul was alone. He said in 2 Tim. 4 "at my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth..."

Passages like these help me put things in perspective. It's not like anything I am doing is landing me in jail, stripping my kids and family from me, making me bear the sins of mankind, or even putting me in danger. Even though I know that, I struggle with finding joy in my daily life. I usually can give over the big things and smile through them. Don't get me wrong, I have days when it all seems insurmountable. For the most part, I can not worry. I got THAT part of Matthew down! The lillies don't have a thing on me....yeah, right!

It's finding joy in the mundane. Joy in the laundry. Joy in the organizing. Joy in the backstabbing at work. Joy in the weariness. Joy in the dishes. Joy in the taxi-driving to and from activities that are only just beginning....

I've come to the conclusion, though. It's MY choice. MY decision. No one can change it. Why do I look at it as if it's some strange thing happening? (I Peter 4) It's GOING to happen. I'm GOING to face this. The next time I am tempted to let the emotions engulf me, I pray that I can just picture Paul in jail for simply believing and proclaiming God's salvation plan, singing praises to His name.

OKAY - ONE MORE THING: Read about this boy...TODAY, when he saw me on my way out to my van after school, he ran to me, threw his arms around me and gave me a hug. When I told the librarian about it (who was waiting for her ride by the back door), she was shocked!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!! It completely made my day!

What a Day, What a Day!

Pictures are worth a thousand words, so here are as many as blogger will let me put on....Of course, these events happened in the exact opposite choronlogical order...first two are sideways, but between all this, running to Kokomo, rehearsal at church and bleaching my entire bathroom today, I'm too beat to fix it. First three are Gabriel opening 2nd birthday presents.

The girl in the stripes is my lovely niece Sammy. (above)

Drew looking on making sure Gabriel has the proper gift-opening technique.

Gabriel Robert and Pappaw Bob....they look alike. Can you tell in this picture?? Gabriel, Pappaw Bob, and my mom's father, affectionately called Granddad. He and Grandma had just flown in from seeing mom in Montana.

Evan after birthday cake.... :)

My home-made (and thus FRUGAL) birthday cake.

Gabriel was so embarrassed after we all sang "Happy Birthday" to him that his bottom lip quivered and he started to cry...until he GOT some cake.

Before the party we raked leaves. This is Luke buried in them.

And Drew took his turn being buried...but Evan wouldn't let it happen. Didn't like the leaves on his face...so no picture.


Luke Jacob

Evan Stanton

Chad Andrew, or "Drew"

They had a blast! At one point, they were swinging and flying off the end of the swing into the leaf pile! I was sure we would have broken appendages...but God portected...and they laughed and laughed. Drew's first attempt was REALLY ugly...

This was before the first jump....(Drew, Luke, and Evan...but you probably can't see him - he blends in...hehe)

Score, Slip, Blend

Just something God is using lately in my life to work on me...

Apparently this is a technique used in sculpting clay....I can't help but think that God has been doing this in my life recently.

1. Scoring: It's basically where you poke little tiny holes to rough up the surface on two pieces of clay that you want to adhere together. I don't claim to describe this accurately, just the best I know how based on my experiences. God's been allowing things to roughen the edges of my life for a while now...things creep in that I don't understand. Situations arise, and sometimes they don't go away for a while. Sometimes I let them get me down. But it's all part of the process...a process I desparately need.

2. Slip: This is where you use a watery mixture of clay and water to go over the roughened surfaces before pushing the two pieces of clay together. I think this comes in the form of prayer from friends and family. Listening ears of a good friend. Glimpses of God's goodness in every day things, just when you least expect it. They soothe the rough edges somehow. Give you the strength, the gumption, the tenacity to move ahead.

3. Blend: This is the last step to getting two pieces of clay prepared before the drying and firing process....and boy, do they each have their own analogies...Blending. I think God has taken those prayers and friends, pushed it together with the things that have caused heartache, stress, hurt, pain, and then He has taken His Word and His promises to blend it all together until we can see the bigger picture, the one that we may not completely understand because it has not been matured to its final state. It hasn't been dried and fired and glazed...

Maybe more on this later....

Just trying it out...

No success stories yet, but we gotta start somewhere, right?!?!

(Aunt Micah, please notice the necklace that has still never been removed....even at bathtime...)